Lord, Open my eyes to see You by Brunella Carlberg

Lord, Open my eyes to see You.

…To see what I am blind to.

…To see what You want me to see. 

…To Come and See.

…To have the courage to face our sin.

…To have the courage to share Jesus with others; to share our story with others. 

My name is Brunella Carlberg, and when I was asked to give a witness statement, I said yes without hesitation. I am honored to stand before you and tell you my story. 

10 years ago this month, on March 3, my youngest son Peter, at the age of 23, died from a heroin overdose. He suffered from substance use disorder for many years. Besides that, he suffered from daily migraines for most of his younger years. Peter was very active in AA, and even started Heroin Anonymous in the Northwest Suburbs. He was an amazing person and helped so many people. He was a warrior! More than 500 people attended his wake. 

When Peter died, I remember calling Fr. Ryan and asking him through tears, if he thought Peter was in heaven. And of course he said yes, that Peter was sick and Jesus is merciful. I worried about that for a long long time. 

For the next 6 weeks after his death, I read every book I could find on near death experiences because I wanted to know what Peter experienced at the moment of his death. All of the accounts that I read said that they were not afraid to die because of what they experienced, and were even disappointed that they did not die. It comforted me knowing that Peter got to keep going towards the light, which we know is Jesus. But it wasn’t enough. I was still searching for more answers. 

Enter St. Padre Pio. And this is the part that I am so excited about. About 20 years ago, My mother came over to my home very excited, telling me that Padre Pio (1887 – 1968), was going to become a saint, and she handed me the newspaper article with all of the information. I said, “Who?” She looked at me and said, “Brunella….what do you mean you don’t know who Padre Pio is?” I took the newspaper article, made a folder for it and filed it away without reading it. 

For years I was getting a Padre Pio newsletter in my email that I never read but instead, filed away. Six weeks after Peter died, I got another Padre Pio newsletter in my inbox. This time, I opened the email. I was curious. 

What I read was that Padre Pio had the stigmata of Christ on both hands, both feet, and his side which bled for 50 years. When he died, the stigmata disappeared with no trace of a scar. I also read that he heard confessions every day for sometimes 9-10 hours a day. He also had the ability to tell the penitent exactly what they did and when. This drew many hundreds a day to him. 

Among those who traveled to San Giovanni Rotondo to have their confession heard by Padre Pio, was the future Saint, Pope John Paul II. Many prayed to Padre Pio for physical and mental healings and were in fact cured. When Pope John Paul was a young priest, a very good friend of his was seriously ill with throat cancer and the doctors gave her no hope of being healed. He sent a letter to Padre Pio to pray for her, and Padre Pio did. The doctors decided to operate, but she was healed before entering the

operating room. She lived to be 99. Pope John Paul II canonized Padre Pio on June 6, 2002. I was reading this newsletter at a very late hour, and was really tired and decided I would read more in the morning. But before I closed my laptop, I read the following: 

“Some Saints possessed the gift that is known as “odor of sanctity”. This gift allows somebody to perceive the Saint’s presence in the smell of personal perfumes.” 

“Whenever anyone smells the perfume it is a sign that God bestowed some grace through the intercession of Padre Pio.” 

When I went to bed that night, I cried and said a prayer to Padre Pio. I told him that maybe if I had prayed to him to heal Peter, he would still be alive today, but my biggest fear was that he didn’t make it to heaven. 

I fell asleep, and I woke up at 2:00 in the morning to the smell of perfume. It was as if someone was holding a bouquet of flowers under my nose. It lasted for about 15 minutes. I was confused and wondered what was going on. Then I remembered what I had read about Padre Pio, and I realized that Padre Pio was present at that moment through the scent of flowers that I was smelling. The message I got from God, through Padre Pio was that yes, Peter is in heaven. I fell back asleep with the most peace that I had experienced since before Peter’s death. I had my answer. I woke up several times during the night and did not smell anything, but at 4:00 in the morning, it happened again. I believe that Padre Pio wanted to make sure I got the message. This time, I smiled and closed my eyes and continued to sleep. 

In the morning, I called my mother and told her what happened. I was so happy! We have a family home in northern Italy, and that summer, I had plans to go to Italy with my mother and father. I told her that I felt a strong desire to make a pilgrimage to San Giovanni Rotondo, in southern Italy where Padre Pio is buried to thank him. 

When we got to Italy, I was told of a couple that went to visit Padre Pio’s tomb every year. My mother and I asked them if it would be ok if we went with them and they happily agreed. In the car, they told us that the very first thing they do when they get there is go to confession. They said that everyone that goes to see Padre Pio goes to confession because that is what he was known for. I looked at my mother with a look of shock on my face, because I had not been to confession in 35 years and that was not why I was going! 

Well, when we got there, we went to confession. I had no idea what I was going to say, but I felt the hand of someone, God, Jesus, The Holy Spirit, Padre Pio…… guide me straight into that confessional. I had no time to prepare, and I had no idea what I was going to say. Lord, help me to have the courage to face my sins. I started out with Bless me father for I have sinned……and I had to say it really fast because I was afraid I wouldn’t remember what came next. That being said, the next thing I said was, “It has been 35 years since my last confession, these are my sins.” 

I started out telling the priest that Peter had died, and that I prayed to Padre Pio, and I smelled his perfume and that I felt that Padre Pio was calling me to come and thank him, when the priest said,……”wait wait wait! Padre Pio called you here not because of your son, but for you to return to confession.” For the next 10 minutes or so, I cried and cried and cried while he told me of the importance of confession and forgiveness and so many other things. He did all the talking. I did all the listening. And then, he said he had to run because he had to say Mass. He absolved me of ALL my sins, gave me my penance, and I was done.

I RECEIVED THE GOLDEN TICKET! I got the get out of jail card. Whatever you want to call it. This was God’s mercy for me knowing that I didn’t know how to start after all of these years, but I trusted in him. For 3 years after that, I asked many priests during confession, if I was really absolved of all my sins even though I didn’t say a thing. The answer was always yes, that God knew what they were and he absolved me. 

Something changed in me after that confession. I had a solid foundation in my faith, but it grew stronger after Peter died and that experience with Padre Pio. Looking back over those years, I prayed when I needed something. When the kids were grown, I slept in on Sunday mornings instead of going to Mass. I worked hard all week. I needed to sleep in! I was a good person. I prayed the rosary when Peter would relapse, but then when he would come home, I didn’t need to pray anymore. 

My eyes were opened, in that confessional. I looked back at those years, and the things I was doing and not doing, and asked myself, “What were you thinking?” I heard the term Cafeteria Catholic, and realized that was me. I decided what I wanted to do. 

If I had not gone to visit Padre Pio, and gone to confession, I would not be doing the things I am doing today. And I am not doing them because the church says I have to! I want to. I have a deep desire to. Since then, I do go to confession regularly. I don’t miss Mass on Sunday. I am in the choir, the handbell choir, and I go to the Women’s Retreat every year. I loved Bible Study on Saturday mornings. For many years, I went to daily Mass. I am constantly reading books about the saints. I read every book I could about Padre Pio and I am re-reading one right now. I have an unquenchable thirst to read more about them. I don’t do these things because I have to, I do them because I can’t get enough. I do these things because I want to. 

My faith has helped me endure the suffering of losing Peter. I know where he is and that I will see him again. When I receive Communion, I feel the closest to Peter, because I am receiving Jesus, in the Real Presence of the Eucharist, and Peter is right next to him. Pete is happy. I hear his voice all the time saying, “Mom, wait til you see what I see.” 

I have had so many “Padre Pio Moments'' in the last 10 years, but I’ll close with this amazing one. Peter has 2 sons. Noah is now 15, and Bentley is 10. At the time of his death, his oldest son, Noah was 5 and had not been baptized. After Peter’s Mass of the Resurrection, Noah’s mother came to me and said, “This was the most beautiful Mass I have ever been to, and I think it’s time that Noah is baptized. I would like it to be here, and I would like Fr. Ryan to baptize him.” I called Fr Ryan to see if we could have the Baptism on May 11, which is Peter’s birthday. He said he couldn’t because First Communion was taking place on that day. He suggested May 25, and we agreed on that date. What I found out later, reading the life story of Padre Pio, is that Padre Pio’s birthday is May 25, the same day that Noah was Baptized. 

Thank you for listening, 

Brunella Carlberg

Realizing God Loves and Accepts Me by Tom Powers

Hello and good morning/afternoon.  I’m Tom Powers.  I am an usher at the 11:00 mass on Sunday mornings.  Last week Pam Lynch approached me and asked that I give a talk at each mass this weekend sharing my story of when I realized that God loved and accepted me.  I had misgivings.  First, I don’t typically talk about my faith much less share it with the whole congregation.  I think Pam could see that I was hesitant and so she let me know that I could say no if I wasn’t comfortable.  Then she said, “it’s just that Fr. Ryan told me to ask you”. It felt a little like when I was a kid and my mother would “ask” me to help wash the dishes. No, was not on the list of responses.   

Next, I was struck by what I was being asked to share.  I was to share with you my story of when I realized that God loved and accepted me.  Here’s the thing, I didn’t have a great epiphany.  I didn’t have a life changing event that opened my eyes to the realization that God accepts and loves me.  For as long as I can remember, I was sure God accepted me and loved me.  

I have a wonderful family.   Great friends.  Grew up in what I think of as a magical neighborhood.  I had terrific caring teachers both nuns and lay teachers.  The priests in St. Bridget of Kildare parish were straight out of a movie you could watch on a Saturday afternoon played by Bing Crosby or Pat O’Brien.  

While I am sure that I learned about God’s love in school and no doubt, it was part of scripture and homilies at Mass.  I just have no clear specific memory of that.  What I remember, very clearly, were the many simple acts of kindness, concern, care, and love that I experienced daily from the special people in my life.  Because of them - I knew God loved and accepted me.  Besides the love my parents showed me every day. I remember things like: 

My great uncle Gene (my father’s uncle) coming to our house to drop off a bike that he had picked up at a garage sale or found sitting in the trash on someone’s tree lawn and cleaned up and repaired to give to me when I learned to ride a bike.  I remember:

My aunt Claire taking my brothers, sisters and me to a local children’s clothing store called Irwin’s to buy us clothes at the start of the school year.  With seven kids, my parents wouldn’t have been able to that.  I remember:

My mother sending me to buy milk at Lawsons grocery store a few blocks from our home.  The owner, Bob Cornell, would add day-old bread or bananas that had just started to turn brown to the bag….. he knew we could use the help.  

These and a thousand other simple acts of kindness, care, concern, and love from the special people in my life.  

So, I have been blessed.  It is not lost on me that most people are not as blessed as I have been.  I also understand that as a Catholic who has been so fortunate, I have an obligation and a responsibility, to as Pope Paul VI expressed so concisely, “rescue and not sit in judgment, to serve and not to be served”.  So, what can I do to serve and to make others feel loved and accepted?

For me, a big part of the answer came from the example that had been set.  Better than any lesson, speech or sermon; the people who loved me taught me through their example the importance of simple, genuine acts of kindness, care, concern and love.  This is the tenet that guides me and that I strive to incorporate into what I do to fulfill my obligation to serve those who are struggling or have not been as blessed as I have been.

I came across a poem when I was much younger that resonated with me.  I read it often to remind myself what I have learned.  I would like to share a portion with you:

It isn’t the thing you do, dear;

It’s the thing you leave undone, 

Which gives you a bit of heartache 

At the setting of the sun.

The tender word forgotten, 

The letter you did not write,

The flower you might have sent, dear,

Are you haunting ghosts tonight.

The stone you might have lifted

Out of a brother’s way,

The bit of heartsome counsel 

You were hurried too much to say;

The loving touch of the hand, dear,

The gentle and winsome tone, 

That you had no time nor thought for, 

With troubles enough of your own.

The little acts of kindness,

So easily out of mind;

Those chances to be angels

Which everyone may find

You’ve never met my mom.  If you did you would remember.  Because, whoever you are – a child waiting at the school bus stop that she would see on her morning walk ….. A fellow parishioner that she would see heading into Mass….. someone she bumps into in a shop or restaurant  …. If you met my mom, she would make you feel certain that the best thing that happened to her that day was, seeing you!  When she said, hello, she would look you in the eye, take your hand or place her hand on your forearm and hit you with her warm smile, and you would know that you are special, you are loved and accepted.

My wife, Elaine, recently began volunteering at Good Shepherd Hospital.  I was proud of her – of course.  I was also happy for the people she would encounter there.  Because when we are afraid, sick, in pain, grieving, and struggling; I believe that while her beautiful smile won’t fix what is wrong, it may bring a little light, a little warmth to someone on what is not their best day.  

Why am I certain that God loves and accepts me – loves and accepts us?  Because I experience it daily in the actions of good people who have opened their eyes and their hearts to “those chances to be angels”.   

Poem: The Sin of Omission by Margaret E. Sangster

Lord, Open My Eyes to See… the Light of Jesus by Sharon Fredrickson

Good evening! My name is Sharon Fredrickson and I have been asked to share my  story of transfiguration with you. Like many, in my younger years, I stepped away from  the church and focused on achieving the things of this world. Now, the things of this  world aren’t bad, however, when you place them before God, it is putting the cart before  the horse and, overtime, as I achieved goals, I would likely say to myself, in my heart,  ‘So this it?’. To that I decided, it is because you need to set the next goal - the next  raise, the next promotion, the bigger house, etc. None of these fulfilled the emptiness in  my heart. That emptiness became overwhelming, I was in a deep depression and lost.  I remember the day I kneeled down beside my bed, tears streaming down my face, and  asked for God to help me.

Lord, Open my eyes to see the Light of Jesus 

Fortunately, God placed in my life people who, by example and out of casual  conversation, shared with me how God had helped them in their life struggles and the  difference it made for them. This watered a seed that had been planted years ago, by  my mother and father, and had been neglected over time.  

I started to attend the SFdS Women’s Retreat. This gradually watered that seed and  the growth made me want to know more. I started to do research and find out about  how to say the Rosary (although my mother had taught me, it had been years and I  forgot), which led me wanting to learn more about Mary. I read many books on The  Rosary, mysteries of the Rosary and this led me to read the stories of Fatima, Lourdes  and Medjugorje. I started attending Sunday Mass on a regular basis. I even went to  confession - somewhat of a long one for that first time back but I got through it and so  did the priest.  

When COVID hit and St. Francis needed lectors and people to say the Rosary via  Zoom, I raised my hand. But it wasn’t enough, I wanted more. I started the Bible in a  Year and joined bible studies.  

My favorite Rosary is the Luminous Mysteries, in particular, the Wedding at Cana. The  fruit of this mystery is to Jesus through Mary. As I review the past couple of years and  my transformation, I see what God did. He gave me Mary who led me to Jesus. 

 When you love someone, you want to put your best foot forward. Jesus was always  there for me but I didn’t acknowledge him much. Now I wanted to work on my  relationship with Him and I wanted to put my best foot forward.  

I started to see the ways to make a change. I made time to say the Rosary daily. I  made time to go to week day mass, I signed up as a lector when the masses opened up  from COVID shutdown, and read scripture daily. I found if I didn’t do one of those  things, it left me feeling as though I let Jesus and Mary down.  

This led me to see things that need to change, because frankly, when you start  making these changes, certain habits and activities no longer fit in your life. They just  don’t feel comfortable anymore. To curse makes you wince, ‘Wow, did I just say that?’  The TV shows you watch, movies you go to see and books you read no longer are  entertaining.  

As my prayer life became a daily habit, I could see how to let Jesus help me change.  A major area was in my consumption of alcohol. I love wine and I love expensive wines.  I love to sip a nice Irish whiskey on a cold winter night in front of the fireplace. However,  drinking had become a daily habit to help relax from the days struggles. I could hear  Jesus telling me in my heart, ‘This is holding you back. You won’t be the best version of  yourself if you continue to drink.’ I prayed for help and the grace to quit.  

I have had many miracles in my life but there is not enough time to hit them all.  However, this prayer to quit led to one of the miracles in my life. Long story short, I  stood up one night after a couple of drinks and said, ‘No more! I’m done!’. I have not  had a drink in over 9 months and, the miracle is I have no desire to drink. This, in my  mind, is due to the Grace of God. For those of you who have gone through this or know  of someone who drinks, this is not a typical case. I joined AA, as they are known for  their support to stop drinking, and I worked through the 12 Steps. Now I am able to help  others who walked in my shoes.  

I know that my journey is far from complete. However, to Jesus, through Mary, together,  they open my eyes to deepen my understanding of God’s Divinity and all that I am  capable of. I find myself doing things I never thought I would do. I am now working  towards semi-retirement but now look to use my gifts with an organization that helps in  building people's relationship with God. I am now doing the Catechism in a Year. Never  in my wildest dreams would I have thought I would ask for a beautiful edition of The  Catechism of the Catholic as a Christmas gift. But, as the angel Gabriel told Mary, ‘All  things are possible with God!’

Thank you for listening to my story. I hope, in some way, I have watered a seed planted  within you. Around the gathering space and within the church, you’ll find purple hearts  to take home. Start to water your own seed and feel your heart transform. Start simple  - each morning, light the candle and spend 5 minutes with God. Warning: If you have  children, do this prior to the entire house waking up. If your mind wanderers while  praying, no worries, gently lead it back to prayer. If it continues, as God if He can help  you with it. After a couple of weeks, make it 10 minutes of time with God. But I warn  you, it is addictive and you’ll want more.  

Finally, last week, you all received ribbon packets and we have more at the crosses in  the gathering spaces to pick them up. Thank you again and God bless you!

Seeing the Light of Jesus by Karl Heerdegen

I’ve been asked to spend a few minutes openly reflecting on my Faith Journey today – on Seeing the Light of Jesus.  

St. Luke 15:7   “There will be more rejoicing in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous persons who do not need to repent.”

That’s good news for me.  Because if sinning and repenting is indeed a pathway to salvation, I should look forward with hope to the end of days.  

To begin, I’m grateful for two things that I had no control over at all

• Being born under the blanket of freedom that exists only in America

• Being baptized into the Catholic Faith when I was just weeks old, 65 years ago

And while I grasped, early on, the responsibility and privilege of participating in the American experience, I didn’t fully participate in the Catholic experience.  I took my faith for granted.  I didn’t deny my faith...I went to Mass on Sundays, prayed on Sundays, thought good of myself for an hour or two once a week...I simply carried the appearance of my faith.  

And except for the Sunday experience, I put my faith aside for the pursuit of more important things.  But those important things, without the everyday foundation of faith, I found, were not only meaningless, I ended up making decisions based on what I thought, what others who were able to influence me thought, what was best at the time.  I trusted myself and others.  I didn’t know God enough to trust Him.  

As a result, some of the decisions I made then lead to my biggest regrets in life now.  I wish I had been introduced to St. James in those days.  In his epistle St James wrote “that those who truly trust God don't settle for merely appearing religious. Instead, they give up trying to control the world with their words and their anger, and they humbly receive the Word that God has planted in them, listen to it, and proceed to do what it says.”

That has become a primary guide in my Faith journey.  If anyone needed humility, it was me.  I still do.  As joyful as it is to be married to the love of your life, and to welcome two sons into the world, I came to understand what humility is and why it’s a great thing.  I came to discover that humility and patience are the same, and that putting others before me strengthens me.  I find Faith in Humility, in Patience.   

The second source for my Faith Journey is, of course, the Bible.  Specifically, the New Testament.  Knowing my attention span, getting through the 39 books of the Old Testament seemed challenging.  

But I figured out that I could start anywhere in the New Testament.  When you’re starving for nourishment, anywhere in the buffet line is a good place to be.  And understanding the New Testament greatly enhances my experience in the Catholic Mass.  Much more so than when I was simply going through my earlier Sunday experience.

The third thing that has come to bolster my faith journey is the Rosary and engagement with the Blessed Mother.  To paraphrase scripture, “I am blessed with work”.  Debbie, my wife of 34 years might say I’m obsessed with work, and she’s probably right.  I needed a place to go for a short while each day and I found it in the Rosary.  How?  Scripture.  In John’s Gospel, he teaches us about the wedding at Cana.  Christ’s first miracle.  

When I read it, I learn about a mother’s influence on her son.  We all know the story:  The host runs out of wine.  Mary knows the solution and encourages her son to take care of the situation.  Jesus responds “what does this have to do with me?  My time has not yet come.”  In essence, Jesus says “Not my problem - I’m not ready for this.”  Mary, like any good mother, basically says “yes, it is, and yes, you are.”  She doesn’t ask again, but simply turns to the waiters and tells them “do whatever he says”.  And a miracle happened.  The spiritual fruit of the Luminous Mysteries tells us that we can gain Jesus through Mary.  

Meditating on the Sacred Mysteries of the Rosary by saying the Hail Mary with such repetition, I am able to feed my Faith on all of the spiritual fruits of the Rosary.  And every time I speak with Mary, I ask for her guidance, the kind that can only come from a mother.  I ask for Humility, Obedience, Perseverance, Receiving the Holy Spirit, Christian Witness, Spiritual Courage, Forgiving Others, Grace, Endurance.  Especially endurance.  As St. Luke taught us, it is by our endurance that we will gain our lives. 

Thank you for these few minutes listening to a bit of my faith journey, and along with Lenten ribbons remaining from last Sunday, please be sure to take a votive candle home to help your eyes see the light of Jesus.