You want to be a disciple.
You try to climb the mountain
of holiness: do good things, pray, do all you can to be a good disciple. But your striving isn’t producing the results you want. Why? You can’t earn God’s love. When you realize you can’t “do it” alone, that
you still sin, that’s when you meet God – in your humility.
He meets you in all your messiness and loves you just as you are. If you humbly meet Him in the “low, fertile valley”, he will take you to the mountaintop.
“Apart from me, you can do nothing.” Jn. 15:5
Into His Likeness, Edward Sri, p.68-69